Stay at home dads

The End of the Dumb Dad Era

There's a great article in the Washington Post today from author and stay-at-home dad Chad Prevost that's worth reading, "Why this is the end of the dumb dad era." What resonated with me was this passage:

"No, the domestic hemisphere is not for the faint of heart. Not just because it’s hard. It is definitely another job, but it’s also often humble work, tending to others and scheduling your life around their schedules, while remaining engaged enough to be emotionally present for your kids. There’s little external reward, and for many smart and driven people, even when you do it well, it’s not enough."

That is right on the money

One of the most common responses I get from people (both men and women) when I tell them I stay at home is usually something like "Well, that's definitely a hard job," or, "I could never do it." But I'm lucky we can afford to make the decision to have a stay-at-home parent in the first place, and the truth is the tasks themselves aren't that difficult. However the responsibility and selflessness that it takes to get the work done makes the job pretty tough some days. 

So I usually respond by saying, "Well, it's the job that needs to get done."

Why this is the end of the dumb dad eraChad Prevost [Washington Post]

The Best Diaper Bags for Dads - An Update

Mens_diaper_bag_dadgear

One of the more popular topics on Modern Day Dad has been diaper bags for Dads. There are a lot of Dads (or Dads-to-be) that want to find a diaper bag that does the job while still looking like it belonged on a man. Actually it was one of the reasons I started writing about being a Dad in the first place. But even though my kids are beyond diapers now (thankfully), I realized I haven't done an update in a while so I wrote one up for Man of the House.

Unfortunately, the bag I used for years and still love the "Dad Field Bag" from Jack Spade is no longer being made. However I was able to find some good alternatives, from the venerable Diaper Dude, to the innovative Dad Gear to the still-awesome Skip Hop. I also found a beautiful leather option from Petunia Pickle Bottom (or "PPB" as they say when taking about men's bags). Just don't try to right-click an image on their site however, because that's been "disabled to protect brand integrity."

Duh.

Cool Diaper Bags for Dads, [Man of the House]

New Stay-At-Home Dad "Web Series" on Atom.com

MTV's let's-make-some-viral-funny-online-videos site Atom.com has a new "Web series" about a Stay-At-Home Dad called (wait for it) "Stay-At-Home Dad." Even though - or maybe because - I automatically have my guard up anytime anything in the mainstream media deals with at-home Dads, I checked it out immediately.

(As an aside, I'm not going to pretend that this "Web series" isn't in the mainstream media. It's owned by MTV and a freaking publicist emailed me about it today. Also, will I ever not feel odd using the term "Web series"?)

Expecting to hate it, I watched all three episodes and although it isn't exactly comedy genius - there were some pretty funny moments. But best of all, it portrays an At-Home Dad that's neither some sort of lame, emasculated super-Dad, nor a bumbling all-thumbs idiot. The Dad in the show is just kind of a surly a-hole. And although he's certainly not the typical At-Home Dad, he might be that Dad we secretly feel like in the back of our minds (at least from time-to-time).

So, like Brian was writing over at Rebel Dad, I think the jury might still be out on this one. But for me at least, until they do an episode where it's supposed to be funny because he can't change a diaper, I'm going to give it the thumbs up.

Stay-At-Home-Dad at Atom.com

Stay-At-Home Dads Going Back To Work in the Wall Street Journal

There's a good article in today's Wall Street Journal about At-Home Dads trying to get back into the work force. There are as many different reasons for staying at home or going back to work as there are At-Home Dads, but the article does a good job of illustrating a few different situations. Whether Dads decide to go back to school to give them a competitive edge or keep themselves in their industry with freelance work, the smart Dads play the hiring/interview game without discounting their time as primary caregivers.

In a world that pays a lot of lip service to those who "think outside of the box," I can't think of anything in my life that has made me do so more than staying at home with my kids. As featured father David Hallowes says, the "challenges and self-reflection of the past 2 1/2 years will make him a better manager."

Daunting Task for Mr. Mom: Get a Job - WSJ.com

[And for the record, shame on whomever wrote the lazy "Mr. Mom" headline.]

Stay-At-Home Dads Grapple With Going Back To Work : NPR

via www.npr.org

In a "down economy" stay at home dads are more popular than ever!

Whatever.

This story from NPR is pretty good though, and it puts a spotlight on what a lot of us are going through. Namely, should I go back to work? Because there's a part of me that does, and a part of me that doesn't. And if I do, how the hell am I going to explain this period of my life on a resumé?

Stay-at-home Dads are going to hell? I guess I'll see you there!

A friend of mine sent me this clip from YouTube of a crazy Christian preacher saying that, and I quote, "You call yourself Mr. Mom, God calls you a bum."

I think my friend wanted me to join in her shock and anger, and although I appreciate the sentiment, honestly my first reaction was laughter. And then I kind of got bummed out because there were so many people in the congregation agreeing with him. It's just odd to me (but not surprising) that people actually think this way. And it's funny that someone would preach it.

If choosing to stay with your kids because you can afford it and you'd rather do that then send them to daycare makes me a bum, then feel free to send me a hand-out via PayPal.

Or at least click an ad.

Breaking news on CBS: Dads change diapers.

I missed the segment about stay at home Dads on the CBS Early Show yesterday, but I was just able to watch it online here. I thought it was fairly straight forward and obvious. And considering some of the portrayals of involved dads in the media it wasn't bad, just slightly condescending (my favorite was the Hannah Storm comment at the end "Does it meant they're actually changing diapers?...I'm glad we're making progress!" Ugh.). Thankfully they got a hold of Gary from Freelancedad.com who represented us well I thought. Nice job Gary.

The thing that bothered me the most about it though was the fact that they used the same old, tired clips from the movie Mr. Mom. Goddamn that gets under my skin. Then I read Greg at Daddytypes' take on the Mr. Mom thing in the segment yesterday, including his tete-a-tete with an Early Show producer about it, which made me feel a lot better. Thanks Greg.

Liveblogging the CBS Early Show Segment On  'Hip Hands-On Dads' [daddytypes.com]

On TV: Diaper Bags for Modern Dads [CBS.com video link]

Also on MDD, my old post from 2004 (where was Hannah Storm then?) - Diaper bags for dads.

A good stay-at-home dad rant.

As a fellow at-home Dad, this little piece of commentary particularly hit home with me. Especially this part:

At even the most liberal-minded playgroups I attend with my one-year-old son, the arrival of the only male adult is cause for raised eyebrows and dubious and doubtful glances. Even worse, though, is when I get a pat on the back and a "good for you!" as though I were an elementary school child who's just done something particularly clever.

Of course, this is exactly the sort of treatment that women have gotten in the workplace for decades. That patronizing pat on the back is really a kick in the teeth, make no mistake.

Bingo.

Read or listen to "Commentary: Stay-at-home Dads" by Matthew Broyles [publicbroadcasting.net]